Jeff;
I’m so sorry I had to leave; I would never have planned it that way, in as much as dogs tend to not plan anything. We had a great life together and the bitter memory of our departure should never overshadow the great joy we gave each other. We had a great pack; I will miss you all but will love you for eternity, as I always have; without reservation, hesitation or justification. It is a lesson you humans should really try to learn. And I hope I taught you well.
Remember, each walk we took through the woods wasn’t about getting there; it was about being there. Yes, I know at times you wondered why I had to zig and zag, and I know sometimes it was hard for you to keep up. But even though it appeared I had to stop and smell every tree, peek into every hollow, under every fallen tree, I tried to teach you that life is many small, endless journeys; and every path, familiar or not, is never, ever the same. Humans tend to walk the same path over and over and never explore the possibilities, never allow their curiosity to overtake their need to finish the journey at the expense of the signals, however subtle the scent, of the beauty of life all around us and experiences that truly make our existence wonderful and ever-changing. Life is much more rewarding, much more meaningful when you live in the moment, for the moment, and let the universe show you just how lucky you are to be alive at that moment; any moment. Cherish them all and live them all, deeply and with unabashed curiosity. Dig at the world, with both paws and great abandon, and never be concerned with getting muddy. The fur of those who experience life to the fullest will always be covered in the evidence of it.
Humans tend to believe that life is so complicated, only because you chose to make it that way. There is no right or wrong reason, or right or wrong time to love one another. There never needs to be a justification for simple pleasures; stretching out upside-down in the cool grass under a warm, clear blue sky is justification enough for the simple pleasure. Take it; it is not only time that is well spent, but also what the universe wants you to do, or there would never be cool grass to begin with. I would share the excitement of a new chipmunk hole in the lawn, not because it was an event of great concern; but precisely because it wasn’t, and it was still wonderful and worth sharing with someone who means a great deal. It was new and exciting, and I wanted you to be able to feel the great joy of another curious, unexplained secret of the universe. Simple. Do not make it harder to find and experience joy than it has to be.
Our late-night walks were always special, and I hope you learned a lot. Eventually, you figured out that you too could explore the new scents in the same old places, other creatures giving us a short message that they were here too, though we both could never truly decode the message. You may never have bent down to get your snout in the appropriate place, but at least you stood still long enough for me to show you just how important it was. And yes, deep down, sometimes it was all for show, my subterfuge employed so we could spend more time together on another adventure through life, however fleeting and inconsequential it seemed. And I am proud that you finally learned some patience. I wish I had had more time to help you practice; humans seem to need quite a bit of training.
I spent a lot of time at your feet, and at the feet of the other humans in the pack; I was greatly concerned that I needed to be sure you were all safe and to let you know that I was there for you. I know mom will miss me, and I’m sure she’ll be quite lost, as I spent a great deal of time distracting her from whatever mundane urgencies you humans seem to give great import to. I was grateful to be able to tell her that the mailman had arrived, or the dreaded UPS truck was in the driveway, or she would likely have spent her days doing things that didn’t appear to bring her joy. Luckily, the cats decided to pitch in and walk all over her desk at the most inopportune times; I guess I never gave them the credit they deserved. But at least I had her trained enough to know that it meant it was time for her to take a break when I sat at the cookie jar or paced at the door. I love her dearly and I know she loved me too. You need to learn to distract her as well; get in her face, demand her attention, beg her to take you for a walk. Let her know that she is loved. Humans seem to have a hard time letting other humans know just what they mean to one another.
I will greatly miss the children, and I know they will miss me. Children are much more dog-like than you older humans, because they tend to love unconditionally immediately. I tried to take up as much of Hannah’s bed as possible as I was afraid that she might not be warm enough. And I know she still loved me in spite of it. And Liz never failed to think of me, a new toy quite frequently, although she did have a tendency to try to dress me as a silly human every now and then. I never understood why I had to wear a Tutu or a pumpkin mask or floppy ears (I rather think my own were quite sufficient and handsome) but I felt that sitting there quietly as she did so was good for her, and Hannah, and I wanted to be as patient with them as I could. You need to show them the same patience and love. This is your pack now; I am counting on you.
Yes, the pain was excruciating. And I know it was painful for all of you as well. I could smell the fear and sadness on all of you and I sensed how distraught you all were. But there really wasn’t any other way. I had to go. I am proud that all of you had the courage to let me leave and having my head in your hands meant as much to me as I know it did to you. You need to give yourself time and permission to grieve and to accept that however painful this was for you, it was the right thing for me. From that day I selected you from the muddy pen I was kept in, I knew I had made the right choice; that these were humans that I could truly love and teach to love. I know it will be hard for you all; I will be fine. I will stretch out under the cloudless skies of heaven on the coolest grass paradise has to offer. I will miss your music and wish for you to keep sharing it so others can be blessed by it as well. It seems to be the only way humans truly communicate and connect at the same time.
Please care for each other as I taught you, and as only our pack could; and always strive to be the best dogs you can be.
Love and wags always;
Cody.