Monkey business…a friendly public service announcement.

The midterm election is just around the corner and of course, that means it’s time for the pandemic du jour!  If you’ve already put away your Covid decorations, it might just be time to bring ‘em back out.  The season for fear, panic, coercion and intimidation is right around the corner; you wouldn’t want to be caught with your mask down.

It’s either the next pandemic mascot or the next head of the CDC…

As of this writing, the leading candidate for instilling panic among the populace is Monkey Pox. I’m not sure if mentioning Monkey Pox requires the  “™” or not, as the virus is most likely owned by Bill Gates, Anthony Fauci, the WHO or quite possibly the National Institutes of Health. No matter because whatever virus will effectively terrorize you into compliance is the one they’ll promote breathlessly, endlessly and with the full vigor that one has come to expect from tyrannical propaganda organs throughout history. So to get you fully prepared to march in complete lock step with the rest of the herd, we’ll offer some tips on how to incrementally surrender rights that you’ll never be able to get back.  Because, Science™!!

First, you’ll need to stock up on facemasks and toilet paper. Facemasks haven’t really been effective in the past; well unless you’re talking about delaying early childhood development, but safety and your health were never really the point anyway. Masks make it easy to identify those who won’t submit and may need further coercive techniques to get them under control. Don’t forget, no matter what their story is, those mask-less people who are standing ten feet away from you at the bus stop, in the open air, are really saying that they want to kill your grandmother.  But of course, once you’re fully stocked up on masks, they’ll actually become currency for when the economy finally crashes around you, crashing for reasons unknown.  Toilet paper has no real value other than possible barter currency as well, but when people lose their fucking minds, they always seem to grab for rolls of Charmin. Might be some sort of talisman I’m not familiar with.

It’s also a great time to familiarize yourself with all the large national chains that will eventually be designated with the holy label, “Essential!”  Remember, even though small businesses are the backbone of the economy, if they’re non-essential, they’re non-essential; because Science™!! Make sure you know the location of your nearest Wal-Mart, National chain grocer, Liquor store, Pot store, Planned Parenthood, Home Depot and Target.  Please avoid the dentist, the doctor, local grocers, pubs, restaurants, gyms, support groups and churches. If your neighbor loses his small business during the shut down, well then that proves he wasn’t a really good businessman to begin with and hell, he probably wanted to kill your grandmother anyway.

Remember, social gatherings will quickly become disallowed, or to use a phrase that actually happens to have more historically relevant gravitas; “Verboten.”  This will require some planning on your part. But to be morally superior, you have to make some effort or the whole of society will do crazy shit like, “live.”  Don’t bother to plan that big fancy wedding. Save money and time and elope now. As you know, your grandmother is going to die at the hands of the non-compliant anyway, with quite possibly most of the rest of society, so planning a big to-do is pointless.  Graduations will be on-line if your child doesn’t jump out the window from years of social depravation and on-line isolation. Birthdays and other celebrations of life will only be allowed for those who get to tell you that you can’t have Birthdays and other celebrations of life.

If you have elderly loved-ones in long-term care facilities, you might want to visit them as soon as possible because once the “insert virus name here” pandemic hits, they’ll be isolated and alone, at least until they get doubled up with other patients who have tested positive for “insert virus name here.”  It’s the proven Cuomo approach, and while he killed a large majority of elderly in his state, it earned him the Emmy anyway.  That they took the Emmy back is really no concern, because he wasn’t being punished for the death count but because he got touchy-feely with an employee.  That was the more immediate concern over the health of the public; because Science™!! In any case, once your loved one, who suffered for the last ten years with dementia, congestive heart failure, obesity and diabetes passes, they too can be counted in the great database of deaths attributed to “insert virus name here;” of course, it will be death from “insert virus name here,” not death with “insert virus name here.”  Think of the virtue status you now gain from being able to say that you too lost a loved one in the great pandemic of 2022. This gives you the moral purity you’ll need to snitch on your neighbors and coworkers who refuse to bow to your demand that they place your personal safety above their personal convictions.  Oh, and though your dead loved one sacrificed far more than you to make your point, you were never really that close anyway and she’s not around to complain.

If you happen to be lucky enough to be “essential,” then it’s your duty to harass belittle, shame and publicly humiliate those co-workers who refuse the new vax specifically designed for “insert virus name here.”  Even though the vax may not really be effective, wasn’t really tested and the insert for adverse reactions is blank, you can trust that your government, who has never ever, not once, really honestly, super pinky swear, as dog as my witness, ever, ever lied to you for any reason, has your best interest at heart. Ignore for the moment, the fact that the only immunity in the whole conversation is immunity from liability. And don’t let your co-workers talk about silly “exemptions,” because unless they work for a major pharmaceutical company, the White House, the Congress, The Judiciary, the CDC, the FDA, Pfizer, Moderna or Johnson and Johnson, then their silly little argument about personal convictions has no merit. Make it clear to them; by doxxing them; spreading rumors about them at work; ignoring and isolating them; remember, it’s your health they’re responsible for. You could always get a twisted, off-center haircut, change your name to Karen and demand to speak to the manager. Because, Science™!!

Of course, no pandemic is complete unless it can affect the outcome of elections. So to make sure you’re prepared this time, go and register early for mail-in balloting. And if mail-in ballots are good, then multiples must be that much better! Register as yourself, then register as your neighbor’s dead cousin, your illegal gardener, his five year old son, the elderly loved one you lost due to “insert virus name here,” the elderly loved one’s dementia unit room-mate, your child, your future grandchildren and just about anybody you can think of. Don’t worry, several of them will stick, and the chance of getting prosecuted has been shown to be as low as the probability of dying from “insert virus name here. ”

We hope this helps, because as we approach the kick off of whatever pandemic is going to shape the course of the next few years, you’ll need to make some serious decisions. How many more lifelong friends or loved ones are you willing to walk away from because your panic is greater than the value that they bring to your life? How many more children are you willing to permanently affect because you choose not to put yourself and your irrational fears away behind locked doors, instead forcing it upon those less likely to be sick in the first place? As you sit alone in your car at the stop light, silently fuming at the woman in the car next to you because she’s not wearing a mask like you, will you ever at least come to the recognition that you’ve been lied to, manipulated and controlled?  Will you ever be able to realize as hard as it is for you to admit it, that you have been a willing participant in the destruction of the lives of many? Can you at least recognize that this is not the first time that this has been the case in history; as fear can be a powerful method of control, used by governments to accomplish at the hands of a terrified population, that which the government could not legally, ethically or practically accomplish on it’s own?

The most dangerous pandemics in the world are tyrannical governments. The contagion of fear and the resulting death of society is spread by those who above all, are willing to sacrifice others for the promise of security and protection by the those who would seek to rule over them and would ultimately sacrifice them on a whim as well.

If I were you, I’d mask up….

Letting go…

Jeff;

I’m so sorry I had to leave; I would never have planned it that way, in as much as dogs tend to not plan anything.  We had a great life together and the bitter memory of our departure should never overshadow the great joy we gave each other. We had a great pack; I will miss you all but will love you for eternity, as I always have; without reservation, hesitation or justification. It is a lesson you humans should really try to learn. And I hope I taught you well.

Yes, I will always be at your side…

Remember, each walk we took through the woods wasn’t about getting there; it was about being there. Yes, I know at times you wondered why I had to zig and zag, and I know sometimes it was hard for you to keep up. But even though it appeared I had to stop and smell every tree, peek into every hollow, under every fallen tree, I tried to teach you that life is many small, endless journeys; and every path, familiar or not, is never, ever the same.  Humans tend to walk the same path over and over and never explore the possibilities, never allow their curiosity to overtake their need to finish the journey at the expense of the signals, however subtle the scent, of the beauty of life all around us and experiences that truly make our existence wonderful and ever-changing. Life is much more rewarding, much more meaningful when you live in the moment, for the moment, and let the universe show you just how lucky you are to be alive at that moment; any moment. Cherish them all and live them all, deeply and with unabashed curiosity.  Dig at the world, with both paws and great abandon, and never be concerned with getting muddy. The fur of those who experience life to the fullest will always be covered in the evidence of it.

Humans tend to believe that life is so complicated, only because you chose to make it that way. There is no right or wrong reason, or right or wrong time to love one another. There never needs to be a justification for simple pleasures; stretching out upside-down in the cool grass under a warm, clear blue sky is justification enough for the simple pleasure. Take it; it is not only time that is well spent, but also what the universe wants you to do, or there would never be cool grass to begin with.  I would share the excitement of a new chipmunk hole in the lawn, not because it was an event of great concern; but precisely because it wasn’t, and it was still wonderful and worth sharing with someone who means a great deal. It was new and exciting, and I wanted you to be able to feel the great joy of another curious, unexplained secret of the universe. Simple. Do not make it harder to find and experience joy than it has to be.

Our late-night walks were always special, and I hope you learned a lot. Eventually, you figured out that you too could explore the new scents in the same old places, other creatures giving us a short message that they were here too, though we both could never truly decode the message. You may never have bent down to get your snout in the appropriate place, but at least you stood still long enough for me to show you just how important it was. And yes, deep down, sometimes it was all for show, my subterfuge employed so we could spend more time together on another adventure through life, however fleeting and inconsequential it seemed. And I am proud that you finally learned some patience. I wish I had had more time to help you practice; humans seem to need quite a bit of training.

I spent a lot of time at your feet, and at the feet of the other humans in the pack; I was greatly concerned that I needed to be sure you were all safe and to let you know that I was there for you. I know mom will miss me, and I’m sure she’ll be quite lost, as I spent a great deal of time distracting her from whatever mundane urgencies you humans seem to give great import to. I was grateful to be able to tell her that the mailman had arrived, or the dreaded UPS truck was in the driveway, or she would likely have spent her days doing things that didn’t appear to bring her joy. Luckily, the cats decided to pitch in and walk all over her desk at the most inopportune times; I guess I never gave them the credit they deserved. But at least I had her trained enough to know that it meant it was time for her to take a break when I sat at the cookie jar or paced at the door. I love her dearly and I know she loved me too. You need to learn to distract her as well; get in her face, demand her attention, beg her to take you for a walk. Let her know that she is loved. Humans seem to have a hard time letting other humans know just what they mean to one another.

I will greatly miss the children, and I know they will miss me. Children are much more dog-like than you older humans, because they tend to love unconditionally immediately. I tried to take up as much of Hannah’s bed as possible as I was afraid that she might not be warm enough. And I know she still loved me in spite of it.  And Liz never failed to think of me, a new toy quite frequently, although she did have a tendency to try to dress me as a silly human every now and then. I never understood why I had to wear a Tutu or a pumpkin mask or floppy ears (I rather think my own were quite sufficient and handsome) but I felt that sitting there quietly as she did so was good for her, and Hannah, and I wanted to be as patient with them as I could. You need to show them the same patience and love. This is your pack now; I am counting on you.

Yes, the pain was excruciating. And I know it was painful for all of you as well. I could smell the fear and sadness on all of you and I sensed how distraught you all were. But there really wasn’t any other way. I had to go. I am proud that all of you had the courage to let me leave and having my head in your hands meant as much to me as I know it did to you. You need to give yourself time and permission to grieve and to accept that however painful this was for you, it was the right thing for me. From that day I selected you from the muddy pen I was kept in, I knew I had made the right choice; that these were humans that I could truly love and teach to love. I know it will be hard for you all; I will be fine. I will stretch out under the cloudless skies of heaven on the coolest grass paradise has to offer. I will miss your music and wish for you to keep sharing it so others can be blessed by it as well. It seems to be the only way humans truly communicate and connect at the same time.

Please care for each other as I taught you, and as only our pack could; and always strive to be the best dogs you can be.

Love and wags always;

Cody.

I witnessed a murder…

As is usually the case with witnesses of a crime, I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time; although I would never have assumed that the oversized couch in my living room could ever be a crime scene, with the possible exception of some poorly worded, cringe-worthy Dad-puns designed specifically to induce eyerolls from my children. I am the master of this. I’m sure it’s gotta be illegal on some level.

You cannot paint a beautiful existence with only one color on your palette..Jp

No, I had my chubby feet elevated on the coffee table, safely encased in my fuzzy Christmas present slippers, lazily sinking one Oreo after another into my tumbler of chocolate milk when the crime unfolded in front of my very eyes, conveniently delivered to my living room via some such alphabet news channel, the name of which currently eludes me. I sat in horror and sheer disgust as I watched one human slowly squeeze the living essence from another human; defenseless, subdued and begging for his life. How one person can do this to another is a question as old as man’s very existence itself. What type of monsters live among us that have the capacity to do this and how, or indeed can, we ever guard against this most hideous nature of those with whom we share our human heritage?

I saw the replay multiple times over the course of the evening, not bothering to listen to how I was told I should feel about this or what it means from the perspective of those who were working their hardest to educate me that it indicates some issue or flaw in some segment of humanity that I mostly resemble or am responsible for. No, I was still struggling to come to grips with the image of one sadistic, unique representative of our species who was more than willing and determined to end the life of another totally unique representative of that same species.

I suppose I am just as guilty, not only because I am told that I am, but because I failed to see what value there is in making any sort of distinction between the killer and his victim. Would we all have felt some slight relief if the color palette had been reversed? Or maybe if the victim had been a young man of Asian descent? Or possibly some young Italian kid from Brooklyn? Would that have bothered me less, viewing a politically correct murder versus the one I was a witness to? It was a murder nonetheless, a slow deliberate act of kneeling across the airway and blood supply of a unique member of our species at the hands, or in this case the knee, of another. I need no disclaimers beyond that fact, no “perspective” or “context.” I saw pure hatred and pure evil, with no need to adjudicate it further. This S.O.B killed another human and that, in and of itself, is all that matters. The victim is no more or less dead based on his color or the color of his assailant. Maybe I’m too simple a man for all this, maybe all the pundits and looters have insights beyond my capacities, but if you believe that racism is the crime here, then we are as a species, truly the most flawed animals on the planet. You cannot be motivated to kill a person of color without being savage and callous enough to take the life of another human in the first place.

So now the education begins. I’m sure to receive quite the bit of hate mail and persuasion from those who seek to dance on the grave of George Floyd for their own macabre political power play. His death will serve this purpose or that, result in this program or that legislation, none of which will truly address the reality that we are a species that is quite capable of killing on a whim, exploitation of that death notwithstanding. I saw a man in a “position of authority,” sworn to serve and protect, willingly execute an unarmed, shackled and prone suspect, without cause, without trial, without sentence.

Unfortunately, we will never have what the left is always clamoring for, a “real conversation about racism.” To do so would strip away all the importance and the power of that charge, laying us all bare to the fact that indeed, we are all racist whether we can, or wish to admit it or not. I’ve spent the last two weeks listening to pundits on various channels tell me how Derek Chuavin is representative of all police officers, if not of all “white people.” Van Jones is quite sure that I have “a virus in my brain that can be activated in an instant.” If I were to make the same comment regarding Mr. Jones, I would be accused of racism without hesitation. But I’m told that as a white man, I cannot speak about racism because I’m not black. It’s the irony lost on the left when they tell me that “I cannot speak to racism because I’ve never been judged on my race,” as if that sentence is one they’ve been trained to speak like an oath without unpacking the meaning. Because I am of the white race, they judge that I cannot speak about race. But that’s not racist.

So to prove how racist I am, they loot and burn their own cities in honor of George Floyd, chasing away the jobs and opportunities so sorely needed by those they claim to care for; those who have spent hours, blood and sweat to build businesses, livelihoods and homes in areas that will now take decades to recover, if they ever will, ensuring that the next generation of young people, of all colors, suffer in excruciating poverty and hopelessness. And for this, they preen and pose and “speak truth to whatever” in an effort to gain and maintain the power that they have held over the inner cities for the last 50 years of my life, places where it’s taboo to speak about black on black crime lest we show just how truly racist we are. I don’t need to speak about the crime stats, you can look them up yourself and argue against them; they’re not mine, I don’t own them or produce them. And frankly, I don’t care about them. Stats just ensure that we continue to break down our shared existence into convenient buckets of victimization and “I told you so-s” that do nothing more than separate us from our common bonds, our common existence, our common humanity and gives fodder to the worst in all of us; all of us, regardless of color.

Simply put, I witnessed a murder. If you need some type of qualification to make it more or less hideous than it truly is, I can’t help you.

#notyoutoo

It would appear that the New York Times, Allsya Milano and quite probably many others in the left-leaning world of main stream media are finally coming to grips with the implications of the #metoo movement. Maybe “coming to grips” isn’t quite the phrase I’m looking for. Maybe the phrase I’m looking for is “situational application.” The correct application of #metoo and its career ending punishment for those transgressors who qualify appears to be wholly dependent upon the end goal one is seeking to achieve. And right smack in the middle of the hypocritical determination as to who is the antagonist and who can qualify as victim (or hero) depends on the value they can bring to that desired outcome. Again, either “some animals are more equal than others” or “you have to break a few eggs” applies here, one would guess.

Sorry kid, #notyoutoo

Ms. Milano had no concerns about due process when it came to the sympathetic visage of Christine Blasey Ford, as Ms. Milano sat behind the grand inquisitors grilling Justice Kavanaugh, “sending daggers” and quietly mouthing her disdain for the accused the whole time. Due process be dammed, all women are to be believed.

Fast-forward to the accusations by former Biden staffer Tara Reade and well, all bets are off. Whether I believe Ms. Reade or not is inconsequential. She has filed a formal criminal complaint that entitles Mr. Biden to the “due process” others were not entitled to and this lands the left into a bit of a quandary. A woman, a victim, who doesn’t fit the narrative of a woman suffering in silence, a former supporter of a left leaning icon to boot, has accused Ms. Milano’s chosen hero and given Ms. Milano the vapors. What is a person of her intellectual capabilities and highest integrity to do? Backtrack. Or as she puts it; “I’ve been very vocal about Biden and my support for him,” Milano continued. “I don’t feel comfortable throwing away a decent man that I’ve known for 15 years in this time of complete chaos without there being a thorough investigation.” Dam the torpedoes and ones’ character; if the facts don’t support the models, the facts must be ignored. Not all women are to believed, apparently. As I’ve said before, with the left it’s “I’m with her unless I’m not.”

Ms. Milano isn’t alone either. Over the weekend, the venerable (or is that venereal?) New York Times tripped over their own duplicity and let a headline slip through in a vein of truth that they were unaccustomed to. Their original headline read; “No other allegation about sexual assault surfaced in the course of reporting, nor did any former Biden staff members corroborate any details of Ms. Reade’s allegation. The Times found no pattern of sexual misconduct by Mr. Biden, beyond the hugs, kisses and touching that women previously said made them uncomfortable.” (Bolding mine) Upon realizing their unintended act of honest journalism, they quickly pulled their headline and edited it to read; “No other allegation about sexual assault surfaced in the course of reporting, nor did any former Biden staff members corroborate any details of Ms. Reade’s allegation. The Times found no pattern of sexual misconduct by Mr. Biden.” Unfortunately for the Times, the Internet is forever.

So it would appear that the Times has decided that “hugs, kisses and touching that women previously said made them uncomfortable” is no longer a litmus test for #metoo. Or maybe it is, they haven’t made it clear. By ending their last revision with “The Times found no pattern of sexual misconduct by Mr. Biden,” it appears that those behaviors are just ducky; “no harm, no foul.” Or at least, “one of our guys, no foul.” Biden gets a pass then, as the Times found no pattern of what they consider misconduct (although the creepy image of the young girl trying to escape his sniffing fetish still lurks in my mind.)

I don’t care to defend or deride the #metoo movement at all. It always was and will always be, another Alinsky tactic used by the left in the guise of the undying support and concern they have, or want you to believe they have for women. But women are just another powerful voting block to be courted with promises and trinkets provided by the left in the hopes that they can get enough women to move en masse to the left in the voting booth. This is what they think of you. On an individual basis, you’re nothing, your opinion must only reflect theirs or you’re of no use to them what so ever. As long as they can get enough women to stand neatly and quietly in line, your individuality is of no concern to them; unless of course you threaten to disrupt their narrative, possibly making others question the veracity of their arguments too.

Probably the most hideous thing in all of this is the realization many won’t face; that the left is always willing to exploit someone who is suffering, has a tragic tale, pushing them directly into the camera’s gaze, broadcasting their name digitally around the world for the benefit of their own agenda. And every once in a while, they let their masks slip and are forced to deal with the consequence of their own tactics, wondering what to do with the casualties of their own friendly fire.

Their answer is actually simple and quite obvious; change the meaning, pretend it doesn’t apply or basically lie through your teeth. They’ll just move on to the next emotional hashtag they can find to exploit and move on again. No harm, no foul.

May I suggest #notyoutoo ?

 

 

 

 

I’m with her…unless I’m not…

So the DNC debate between Bernie and Ole’ Joe was last night and I’m still trying to figure out what the heck I just watched. I have to keep in mind that there are some very decent folks out there chomping at the bit for either one of these two to grab the golden ring, and for the life of me I don’t really know why.

“if the nesting doll fits..” But which one?

Maybe it was the part about not deporting any criminals in the first one hundred days. I guess the safety of legal citizens doesn’t really matter to voters. Oh, and oil; yes, we will do away with oil and fracking! At least this time when they both talked about destroying the energy sector, they didn’t look into the camera and tell all the oil workers, coal miners and others in the field to “learn to code.”

There seemed to be an awful lot of space on that stage, however. Makes one wonder why the DNC went so far out of its way to exclude the only woman left in the race. Odd that, seeing as how at any other time, the press would be bleating on mercilessly about sexism and misogyny, yaddi yaddi yadda. Of course, the DNC can actually nominate anyone one they want, voters be damned. It’s a private club, their rules, no matter how inconsistently they apply them. And women really have nothing to complain about anyway, as Biden committed to selecting a woman as VP. Neat-o; nothing suggests pandering more than “I am going to select someone based on their genitalia.” So, got yourself a vagina? Here’s a shot at second place.

After all the hand-wringing about sexism, the party really let me down. I wanted to see Tulsi up there, kicking ass, taking names and giving away free shit too. It seems that maybe they need to clarify their definition of what a woman is. That may be asking them too much, I know. Maybe Tulsi isn’t the right kind of woman. In August, she pledged not to run a third-party campaign if she didn’t win the nomination. I imagine at the time, she believed all the party rhetoric about sexism and thought she’d be a great contender given her specific bodily configuration. (Or is it identification? I can keep up at this point.) Is it all women or just this woman? Maybe the nesting doll really didn’t fit here.

It really doesn’t make a difference at this point (wow, just channeled Hillary for a minute), because now, she too can employ the victim card, as did those who dropped out before her. Gillibrand was crapping out rather early in the race and whipped that “woman as victim” card out real quickly. Of course, she used the double-whammy victim card, a “young woman.” Extra points for still coming in dead last.

Kamala was relegated to the same fate, as the horrible boys in the party wouldn’t vote for her either. She had the other double whammy-card, a “black woman.” And of course, the esteemed “woman-of-color-not-really-a-woman-of-color,” Elizabeth Warren, is quite sure that her fortunes too, were scuttled by the hatred that the American electorate has for women who seek the highest office in the world. Warren fails to consider for one moment that she lied for years to her own voter base and couldn’t win her own state. But, yeah, sexism, let’s go with that.

So is it sexism after all? Maybe not, as almost every one of the candidates that dropped out preferred to endorse one of the remaining men in the field. Could it be preference other than gender? Possibly, but your preference is suspect if you don’t vote the way the left decides you must. So it becomes an “-ism;” a flaw in your character to vote your personal preference instead of following the orders of the party, individualism be damned. If you prefer to vote for a particular person based on their positions, you must justify the unfortunate circumstance of their gender if they’re male. Unless of course, the male is a democrat and you just happen to be one of the wounded harpies crying about how mean the electorate can be to little girls. Then, you too can stand shoulder to shoulder with the boys and block the only remaining woman from the stage without any hint of shame. Makes sense.

At a minimum, maybe some introspection would go a long way here. Many of these women couldn’t even win their own states; some of them had baggage that would have sunk many male candidates. But a very large percentage of the democrat voter base is women, and you have to be ready to call them all sexist for preferring a man to you in the same way that you abandoned the only woman left in the race. So maybe it isn’t sexism, or maybe sexism isn’t that big a sin? You tell us ladies; you’re the ones who are quite sure that voting for one’s preference, especially if it is a preference for one gender over an other, is a horrible thing that should cause us to hang our heads in shame and report to the nearest woke-clinic for re-education.

Sexism for democrats is situational and fluid, and only good as a weapon when the press embraces it. Other than that, it’s a bumper sticker. I’ll go you one better and define it for you:

Sexism; A narcissistic coping mechanism where the subject seeks to avoid responsibility for failures or rejection through the delusion that others reject her only because they hate her gender. This delusion also enables the subject to dismiss the reality that at least half of her detractors in fact, share her gender.