I’m a conservative, more so than a republican.  Watching the republican convention last night and only one thought crossed my Neanderthal mind; what the hell were all these women doing at the podium? From Kelly Ayotte to Ann Romney, they paraded them out like so much arm candy when they should have been home in the kitchen, “makin’ a sammich dammit.”  Don’t you see, we hate women; I know this because the liberal press told me so.  And continues to tell us this every day, ad nauseum.

Oops, off the plantation….I hate that…

What were they thinking putting Mia Love, congressional candidate from Utah at the speakers’ platform?  All she spoke about was her history, how her parents emigrated from Haiti with only $10 in their pockets to take part in the American Dream.  Of course, she had nothing of note to say, not the least her sappy comments about “The America I grew up knowing was centered in self-reliance and filled with the possibilities of living the American dream,”  As much as I looked though, I can’t find any conservative comments or blogs telling me what I should think about her.  I had to actually look at the liberal blogs and websites to find out how and why I should hate this woman.  And I must admit, after reading some of this bile, it became pretty darned clear that I don’t hate her after all.  Not in comparison to how liberals really feel.  I didn’t realize she was a “house nigger.”  Did you? And gasp, she’s a friggin’ Mormon.

Then of course, there’s Ann Romney.  A stepford wife if ever there was one.  I hate that.  Never mind that she worked to raise her children. That’s admirable.  But all she did was support her husband and their family, help him build his business (which I think was actually done by the government), battled cancer and MS.  How the hell can she relate to the struggle of the average American woman?  She’s rich now; she’s lost all credibility on that front.  American women don’t aspire to being rich, raising children or being cared for by the same man for over 40 years.  Of course, I’m still just a little troubled about the fact that she never uttered anything quite like “For the First Time in My Adult Lifetime, I’m Really Proud of My Country”.  That would be the totally relatable Michelle Obama, who somehow managed to go to Princeton and Harvard, like a lot of average America women do.  I think. And she got a no-show job, just like the average American woman too.  Just like my wife.  Well, maybe not. My wife works her purty little butt off, thank you very much. Only she has a no-pay job where she has to show up.  Stay at home mom you know.  Yeah, we’re both ashamed.  But one day, I’ll be able to dress my wife up in expensive outfits like Michelle wears and take all sorts of trips on private planes to Hawaii with 40 or more of our closest friends.  Totally relatable.  Just ask Juan Williams. He knows just how relatable she is compared to Ann Romney, corporate wife.

Actually, I’m a bit troubled about my hate of women: What if my wife, daughters, my sisters or female friends figure this out? I mean come on, my poor wife has to sit across the table from me every night and know deep down that the man who asked her to marry him, the man she gave two children, the man who cares for her deeply really hates her.  Just ask Barbara Boxer, she’ll tell you it’s true.  Should I have encouraged her to abort our two lovely girls?  Would that have showed my true love for her? I’m confused Barbara.  Would I have loved my daughters as much if I had aborted them?

I’m an imperfect man in an imperfect world.  But I do know that the light of the world has always been the women in it, women who were strong, trail blazers, changing the face of humanity.  Many of them changed the world through the children they reared, the husbands they guided and countless other silent, thankless tasks they would never gain recognition for.  Seeking to divide the sexes as this administration has done, and continues to do, shows the real contempt that the left has for successful, independent women everywhere, women who will decide for themselves what the real measure of their success is.

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