Been reading with some amusement, the goings-on over at the site of fellow blogger Matt Walsh.  Matt made a pretty serious, yet innocent mistake with his phrasing.  Someone of his normally conservative leanings should never type the line “I’m no feminist” without expecting to get the froth covered responses he saw, tolerance of the left not withstanding.  Cripes Matt, just draw the Mohammed cartoons and do yourself a favor.

Someone's son, someone's daughter.  Someone's husband.   no one's shame...

Someone’s son, someone’s daughter. Someone’s husband.
no one’s shame…

We all chatted about Miley and her freak show; I took it kind of light as I don’t have anything invested in watching or not watching MTV.  My kids certainly don’t see any value in her music and they aren’t quite enamored with people who degrade themselves, never mind their gender.  Matt however, thought about the teaching moment it would be for his son, teaching about class, decency, a moral view of women and how he hoped his young son would do better vis-a-vis the fairer sex.  And for that, he’s seeing a whole lot of traffic and emails, mostly supportive, still, a lot quite negative and derisive.  Ahh, the tolerant left, teaching us all exactly what passes for the acceptance of diversity of opinions.  Everyone is valued, just some more than others; but we’re all equal except those who aren’t.  Of course, reminding everyone that men and women are different is just stirring the pot my friend.  The day has just started.

Not sure of your age Matt, but my upbringing was probably as chivalrous.  My military father made sure that his sons pulled chairs for their mother and sisters, opened doors for them, escorted them and yes, pretty much “looked out” for them.  I never thought of my sisters as the weaker sex however, and everyone in the house was equal.  We all did chores, we all had curfews, my one sister was better at schoolwork while the other routinely kicked my ass at basketball.  From where I stood, the only inequality of the house occurred where my sister was never called for the foul of placing her pointed elbow a little too low when backing into the paint, but I’d get busted if I should happen to brush up against any “lady-parts” on my way to the basket.  Aside from that she was as ferocious, if not more so then the rest of the guys we’d shoot hoops with.  Had a better stroke though.

No Matt, it’s really not about equality.  It’s about destruction.  Destruction of an evil patriarchal society, destruction of what was considered oppressive family norms and the freedom for women to own their bodies and their destiny. I too called bullshit long ago.  I bought into the feminist mantra, believing I was supporting the rights of my sisters, defending their rights to compete in society on a level playing field, merit-based and fair.  I was quickly disabused of that notion; nothing I was ever taught about the positives of the differences between men and women retained any value.  I was laughed at for pulling chairs.  I was insulted for getting up to give my seat on a bus, was lectured by a young harpy on how insulting it was to suggest that she was so weak that I had to open the door ahead of her, even though I had also held it open for the elderly gent, who thanked, me seconds before.  I began to read beyond the headlines of women screaming to become firemen, only if they could have the strength tests reduced for women, become marines if they didn’t have to march with the same weight on their backs and to participate in boy’s football, on the boy’s teams, because there weren’t enough women clamoring to play the game to start their own team.  Oops, let’s not forget that if there isn’t a woman’s team, then the men’s team had to go too.

Like you, I went to the experts to help define what my role in the feminist’s movement was and hell; it’s all over the map. From what I can gather, feminism is whatever the feminists want it to be, free from “societal constructs”, fungible and event specific.  Men’s view that women are mere sex toys, here for our base pleasure, is totally and absolutely wrong and evil, unless it’s not.  And if Miley finds it totally acceptable to scratch her backside into the crotch of a man almost twice her age, you’d damned well better support that too.  I once thought it was about equal opportunities and equal pay until I learned that it was about equal outcome and a numbers game.  Women no longer wanted to be treated like fragile little beings, cared for by their testosterone-addled masters, they wanted freedom to reproduce or at least fornicate at will, freedom and independence, even if that meant promiscuity and the right to scrape the offspring from their wombs with no regrets or responsibilities, as long as you continue to fund it that is.  No sir, no more of this “put them on a pedestal” thinking, they are every bit the same as you and I except when it’s convenient not to be.  You’d know that if your knuckles didn’t have callouses from years of being dragged beside you.

The thing you missed is that women don’t want your respect, unless they tell you what that means. You can’t be teaching your son quaint, outdated and misogynistic views like respect, admiration and honoring women.  You oppressive bastard, I’ m quite sure that’s child abuse right there.

At the end of the day, feminism is what my wife and daughters deem it to be.  Whatever strength they take from it, however they apply it is what it will mean to me.  Because I trust the women I love, the opinions of other women, other bloggers, don’t much matter on the subject.  Your son should always remember that he is responsible to his own conscience first, then to the woman he kisses every morning and the girls he tucks into bed at night.  Disrespecting a woman, whether she instructs him to do so or she’s paid handsomely for it, speaks more poorly of him than it ever will of her.  Tell him that my girls are no clearer on what feminism expects from them then you are on what it expects from him.  And that’s pretty much the way the victim-hood class wants it to be.  For them, it’s not about being good enough to make the team.  It’s about being invited on the podium, results be damned.

True feminism should be an expression of the pride in the differences between men and women, not the melding of the most crass behaviors and attitudes possessed by both genders.  Not a race to the bottom.  Certainly not a race to Miley’s bottom anyway.  Best wishes shepherding him through his formative years.  I don’t envy you the task at all.  But you and I should never bow to what the feminist class defines to be a man; the morals, the responsibilities, who we value, how we love.  Tell him the most important thing to remember, the one thing that they seem to have forgotten is to love himself first, as a man, never be ashamed of his gender. For the ability to hate others, because of their gender, because of their race or their beliefs, is rooted in the hate of one’s self.  Be a man, in all it means, and be proud to be so.